Is it love or hate?
by Jyotsna
Summary: Do you hate someone but yet you love him. Read! S/D


This is my first short story fanfic - so, I hope  
you like it. I want to get one thing straight - I don't own  
sailormoon! I am a teenager who always broke, so...don't sue.  
In this fanfic, Serena is 14 and Darien is 17 - O.k..  
  
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Is it love or hate?   
  
I hate him! Yet, I love him. How can it be possible  
to hate and love the same time? Can it be practicable the  
world is playing a cruel joke on me. It better stop because  
I'm going out of my mind. Why am I the only girl he bothers  
to pick on? Does he find me so plain, that makes him vile?  
It's not my fault that he finds me plain, for others never mind  
my looks. I love him!........no, I hate him. Why can  
I not change my mind. I can not love a heartless, conceited,  
repulsive jerk. Then.......why does my heart leaps  
when I see him. Some people say that your heart knows  
everything. I guess my heart is just plain dumb - because  
I do not love him. For now, I think is safer to listen to  
my mind.  
  
"Traitor!"   
  
What is he doing to me! He turned my mind   
against me. Looking at him right now, my heart leaps. Words   
cannot express how handsome he is. He is so perfect, with his   
midnight, black hair......and ocean blue eyes...that can drown   
you beneath its depths. He sitting in the same usual spot talking   
with Andrew, who is behind the counter. Doesn't he realize that   
I'm staring at him like an idiot? I hate him.....yet I love him. He   
will never like me. He's faultless when I'm a lazy, dumb, flaky, and   
a crybaby. What hope can I have with him? He probably see me as   
a pest that can be made fun of.   
  
"Serena put yourself together!"  
  
I....will just go to him and....act the way I always act around   
him........yes, that what I'll do. There is no turning back. I will  
hide this feelings and do what I do best.   
  
"Hey conceit Jerk! Drank enough caffeine to make you more cantankerous." (grouchy)   
  
Amusement twinkle his eyes and a smirk came upon his lips. "Hello to you to,  
Meat-ball head. But I'm surprise that your meat-ball brain knows such   
a big word."   
  
When he said this, I can feel tears building behind my eyes.   
Serena you started this you will finish this. "Well ninny, I guess now you   
can change your opinion about me."   
  
Giving me a dry laugh he sneered. "Not really - you are still clumsy, whiny brat. Your meatball -brain can   
only absorb small amount of information in a time."   
  
I can feel the tears that treated behind my eyes spill down my cheeks. How can he be so cruel   
to me? This game had gone to far. "Darien, how can you...be so heartless...to  
me?...How can...I be so dumb...to consider...having feeling for... you? But...now  
I know...what my heart....felt was a...great dislike....for you." There I   
said it and now I feel guilty. I can see Andrew giving his best friend a disapproving   
look, and Darien standing there with a stun look. I got to get out of  
here... before I make a bigger fool of myself, for I can't undo what I  
have... done. Not looking at Darien, I ran out of the arcade - humiliated and didn't stop; even though, I heard Darien called out my name. He probably just want to tell me that I'm immature and to young to even consider having feeling for him. I need to go somewhere to think...to finger out how to act next time I see him.   
  
"The park!"   
  
Yes that's were I'll go - to find peace.  
  
"Serena! Wait up."   
  
I heard a familiar masculine voice echoing through my head. Turning around - I found that it was the one and only Darien running to catch up. No...I can not face him and let him brake what left of my heart. But...now it's to late to even think that I can escape from him. I kept walking faster, but I knew that was hopeless. So, I stop and waited, not turning around. In 2 seconds, I heard him behind me trying to control his breath.  
  
"Serena turn around and look at me," he said in a soothing tone.   
  
Afraid to turn around and face him, I stayed the way I was.  
  
"Serena, please." he urged. Reluctantedly I turned around but gazed to the ground.  
  
"Serena look at me!" he damanded.   
  
I just couldn't! I can't face him eye to eye and see the pity he has for me. ...Being drown to my thoughts, I never felt Darien close the distance between us; until, he lightly grasp my chin upward. Meeting his eyes, I couldn't believe what I saw - Love? No it can't be, I am just imagining things.  
  
"Serena, what you feel for me is...really dislike" he asked in a soft calm voice.  
  
Is it really dislike I feel? No, I do not dislike him. Then what is it? Love.....it can't be. Can it?  
  
"I...don't...know," I stuttered.   
  
"Until you figure it out, let me tell you what I feel for you. But lets go to the park so we can have a little more privacy."   
  
Not waiting for my answer, he took my hand and we walked to the park. On the way, I felt confused. Here I am, walking with the guy I consider I hated - hand to hand. This is the strangest day I ever had. We stop in front of lake. It was beautiful! Wild flowers grew around it and birds sang near by. The hot sun reflected the blue green depth of the lake -while fish swam joyously. Behind us were we stopped, was a bench. Darien still holding my hand pull me to a sitting position. Looking out the lake, waiting for Darien to speak, I became nervous of what to come.  
  
"Serena, ever since I met you I felt some kind of feelings for you. At first, I thought it was dislike for you. For you had things that I never had - Love...family...friendships. I was wrong. If a day pass without seeing you, it was a bad day. I never felt love...so, if this is love, I never want it to end. Now...tell me what you feel."   
  
I couldn't believe what I was hearing; yet, it is all true. I wasn't the only one who felt the way I did. With unshed tears I answered, with a tone that sound so unlike mine, "Everyday I ask myself what I felt for you, was it love or hate. I always convince myself it was hate, because I didn't want to admit it was love." As a tear glided down my left heated cheek, I looked deeply into his eyes.  
  
"Yes Darien, I love you." Grasping his hand to mine, I countinued with uncontrollable tears. "I'll give you love...friendship...and if you want me to...I will be your family."   
  
I can feel Darien whole being envelope in happiness. Then all of suddenly he began kissing my hands then my cheeks, until he reach my lips. It was magical! It was my first kiss, and it was magical. I don't know how longed we embraced but I will never forget this day. Heart I am sorry That I called you dumb. You were right, it wasn't hate but love. I Serena loves Darien and he loves me. Isn't it wonderful!  
  
*********** The End************   
  
I hope you like it. Please Review or e-mail me if you like it.  
  
webpage: http://www.geocities.com/bunnymoon18/index.html 


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